The most frequently used word in a growing child`s vocabulary is the word `WHY`. You see their insatiable curiosity is always searching for answers and solutions which in turn develops their knowledge, thinking, feelings and eventually their actions.
It is also interesting , because as that child grows up more knowledgeable and wiser, they tend to lose the ‘WHY” unconsciously as they know more and get caught up in the whirlpool of time, pressure, deadlines, business and personal demands and you should know better and so just get on with the job.
The job comes with goals, Key Performing Indicators (KPIs), accountability and responsibility. This can then lead to a whole myriad of thoughts, feelings and emotions that come with the fear of the unknown. As you know, fear can really test your inner resilience, belief and above all taking action to move forward.
Fear is one of the most powerful forces in life. It affects the decisions you make, the actions you take which in turn affects the outcomes you achieve. This then becomes your unconscious blockage which if not addressed early on in life can lead to creating, what I call ~Stories` that justify the fears and so it becomes a reality that you live your life in.
Fear of failure is the emotional, cognitive and behavioural reaction to the negative consequences you anticipate for failing to achieve a goal. It is an intense worry and negative thinking that leads to mental and even physical trauma.
- Embarrassment It is embarrassing to fail. What will people think about me? I won’t look that smart. They might think I am not trying hard enough.
- I don’t have what it takes Some people lack confidence. This affects their self-worth and self-belief. Successful people usually assimilate with these traits and so it could play out as I don’t have what it takes to be successful.
- I am stuck in a rut. This is all I know to do and am comfortable with the knowledge needed to execute my job role. This creates a fear of insecurity.
- Being Irrelevant I could be irrelevant if I don`t perform, or what if my clients don`t like me or if I cannot get on with them or if I find it difficult to communicate.
- What others might say or think The opinions of others become so important to your performance that it becomes imperative that others are always happy, and you don`t want to offend anyone.
- Feeling Pushy This is very prevalent in selling, when one has to either sell a product or a treatment package. The fear that the clients think you just want to sell them a product or service because you have a target to meet.
- Communication At times starting a conversation can be difficult because of the generation gap, perception that the client is direct and not that talkative, does not connect with you as a person, only wants what they came in for, has already bought retail from you the last time, you don`t feel like talking yourself that day as you don`t feel well, that the client thinks I am too junior to know everything and many other reasons why it is so difficult to communicate.
I have to tell you that all the above reasons that come under the umbrella of fear of failure are all just `STORIES` that we have unconsciously created in our lives. We have done it so well that they have become reality and we then begin to live by them.
When I ask a therapist for example, “ Did the client or anyone actually tell you that you were pushy when you tried to seel them some skin products”, they always rely “No“ I told myself’.
Yes, exactly right. We tell ourselves everything unconsciously and then that justifies our lack of positive action moving forward. I call this the monkey on their shoulder that is telling them these things. Tell the monkey to go away and start to take ownership of your decisions.
You see we all know what to do. We all know what our KPI`s are and what is expected of us when we turn up to work. But the question I ask is WHY do only around 20% or less of staff are productive and the rest struggle with the above issues outlined. To get staff to take ownership we need to understand WHY they are struggling to perform or feel confident in their abilities. Our conversation is getting them to take ownership of their fears, understand they have been fabricated and take ownership of that.
Only then will you start to see a rise in personal and business performance. This brings me to what I call the I FACTOR and the YOU FACTOR.
The I FACTOR is only thinking about ourselves, about how the clients will think of me, how I will look pushy in the client`s eyes, how they might think I am not experienced enough and so on.
The YOU FACTOR is about only thinking about the other person`s needs, what will be right for their skin and your duty of care when they leave the salon. That you want the best for your client and that they receive the ultimate in customer care and have been well informed about all options available to them so that can make an informed decision.
Yes, so that they can make an informed decision and not you making it for them. Your headspace should be focused on their total experience and the rest will take care of themselves.
Let’s stop focusing on the SYMPTOM (KPI`s, Fear of Failure, Stories) and start focusing on the CAUSE which is the WHY FACTOR and deliver the ultimate experience for your client.